LOVE ENERGY FLOWING
A MAGICAL JOURNEY INTO AND BEYOND CHILDHOOD
TRANSFORMING
CONFLICT
In our adult lives we all have experiences of conflict, either in our intimate relationships, or in our work partnerships, or in other areas of relating.
Sometimes, the conflicts that we experience come to a resolution, a transformation. Out of this transformation, a larger sense of a shared reality arises. In that case, we feel expanded and enriched. Intimacy grows. Integrity flowers.
Some other times, instead, we find ourselves in a conflict situation where we keep repeating the same patterns, and we never find either a meeting point or a point of mature separation. Also in those cases, the desire to dissolve the fight is certainly present in our hearts, but something prevents us from finding our way to transformation.
In these last situations, what often dominate and maintain the conflict are unconscious motivations, rooted in our childhood experience. As children, our parents were our role models. To be loved and feel safe within the family, we adjusted to their ways of relating with each other, either trying to be like them, or developing our own ways to survive, deny or harmonize, whatever was causing us pain and discomfort around their conflicts. When today, as adults, we repeat these patterns developed in childhood, we are in a regressed state, and our actions are mechanical, no longer from our mature response to what happens to us now, in the present.
To find a new way to transform these automatic and unconscious responses to conflict, we need to become aware of, and bring healing to, our past.
During this journey, you will move back in time, and yet remain with the presence and the awareness of the adult that you are now.
Be available for whatever experience wants to reveal itself to you through any of your senses: you might see, or hear, or even smell or taste, events of your past.
.And when the moment for magic comes, allow yourself to trust that too, enjoy it. Know that the child inside you responds to the language of magic, and that it surely enjoys the colorfulness and mystery of it .
Many questions will be asked to you during this time: you can answer them loud, or just inwardly, silently: choose whatever is best for you, so that your attention can remain focused and your feelings present. Whenever you will be asked to express a sound, or to make a movement, or to change body posture, you can either imagine yourself doing it, or actually do it. This second possibility will be stronger, and will enhance the power of your experience.
Before listening to this CD, make sure that you have an hour time all for yourself, undisturbed, and a quiet place where you can sit comfortably with your eyes closed.
It is also advisable to have some time for yourself at the end, to be able to integrate what you discovered before reentering your daily reality. If you can, take a walk in nature, or sit silently listening to some music that you like.
START
Close your eyes and take a moment to feel yourself, sitting here, gently breathing relaxing into your surrounding
Feel your body, the touch of your clothes on your skin, the sensation of the air around your face
Hear the sounds outside the room and the sounds inside the room
Notice your thoughts, just like as if they would be clouds passing by in the sky forming themselves, gathering, and then slowly drifting and disappearing at the horizon .
Notice your breathing, in its own natural rhythm of inhaling, holding on, and exhaling, letting go
Making space inside yourself for a journey, a journey that you, as an adult, will undertake towards an earlier time of your life ..
Allowing the music to open up the path that will take you back through time .
Step by step , you are now moving backwards through the years of your life, noticing familiar places, experiences ..
Passing through your adolescence, your school time, finding yourself on the road that leads you back to the home of your childhood
Notice the road, notice the surroundings of the neighborhood of your childhood home . Are you walking on a paved road, or on a dirt road, or through fields ?
Are there people around? What is the atmosphere of this road? What are the smells the sounds
As you keep walking, you are coming closer and closer to your childhood home .Finding yourself now outside its entrance door .
Get ready to open the door and enter, as the adult that you are, to explore the house where the child-you is living
Moving through the rooms of this house, exploring them . notice how the furniture is disposed, and how the house is cared for
As you move around this house, notice where is the place of mother .is it the kitchen, or in the living room, or in her bedroom?
Now approach mother's place, and, as you enter it, notice that she is there .Is she moving around, or sitting, or resting? Notice the clothes that she wears at home, the expression on her face .You can perceive the atmosphere that she creates .you might perceive it through the smell of her body, or through the sound of her voice
What is her way of thinking, her way of feeling, her dreams, her hurts, maybe her secrets? Find one or two words that can describe the atmosphere of mother's space .
And now, take a deep breath
Move away from mother's atmosphere and once more start exploring the house . searching for the space of father in the house moving around, until you find that place .
And as you enter the space of father, notice him there, in his activity, or in his rest, notice the expression on his face, the clothes he is wearing at home, his body posture notice how father's energy affects the surrounding you might experience it through his smell around his body, or through the sound of his voice What are his hopes, his desires, his hurts, maybe his secrets Find one or two words that can describe father's atmosphere
And now take a deep breath...move away from father's place, find a place in the house where you can notice both mother and father stand somewhere where you can experience them both, whether they are in the same or in different rooms...
You may notice whom of these two parents has more space in the house, physically, or also emotionally .notice if their individual spaces overlap, or whether they stay well divided, maybe with no bridge between them
And now allow yourself to observe them in a moment when they meet How does their meeting look like, feel like, sound like? Where is their meeting place in the house?
And with a deep breath, let this impression vanish, and observe them in another moment, in a situation in which they do not connect with each other. How is it when each one of them stays in their own space? What is the atmosphere that is created?
And again, breathe Let this impression dissolve, and observe them in a situation of conflict Focus on a moment in which they are disagreeing . it may be a conflict regarding either practical or emotional issues
You might see, or hear, or sense them in an actual situation of conflict, something that you really experienced as a child, when they were discussing or fighting .or you might notice that their conflict is not spoken out, not visible, and yet you, as an adult, can clearly perceive it in the air the atmosphere is affected by it
Take a deep breath and listen . Are they speaking to each other? What is the tone of their voices? What does this tone express? .
Observe the way they are moving What do their movements express?
Allow your vision to expand and include the whole atmosphere around them If you would notice their conflict as colored patterns of energy between them, what color and form would these patterns have?
Or is there any other way in which you would like to describe the energy of what is happening between them while they are in a conflict? Take time to find your own words for it .
..
Let yourself take a deep breath, and another one .move your attention away from the parents' conflict .searching for the place of the child-you while the conflict is happening
Where is that place? Enter that space Is it colorful? Does it express activity, play? What is the smell in it? Is it a large or a small place? Notice the child in that space What clothes is it wearing? What is the expression on its face? How is the child responding to the conflict between its parents? Find your own words to describe what is happening to the child
Let yourself now to take a deep breath and become the child, the child-you in this situation . and, as you do so, change body posture
Feel what is happening the proportions of the space around you have changed, everything is bigger, wider your body is smaller you can hear, or sense, or see, the conflict that is happening between your parents .Feel what happens in your body Feel your child's heart, belly .
What are you feeling at this moment? How is it to be in this atmosphere? Speak softly, say what you are feeling, what you are thinking, what you would want to do or not to do in this situation .
Allow yourself now to take a deep breath becoming again the adult, taking again your adult body posture Look at the child-you .
Feel your connection with that child, open your heart to it, now that you have heard and recognized what it really feels, what it has to do to survive the situation .
Take a moment for yourself to acknowledge that your readiness to heal this child has brought you so far, back here, in this situation of conflict And for this moment, step out of this situation
You are going to move forward in time, into a more recent past To look for the resources that you need, to bring new light and healing to the child-you .
Start recalling situations in your adult life where you went beyond conflict .Review some situations of conflict where you went beyond habits and reactions, and experienced either a mature let-go or a true merging, a coming together
.And choose one of these situations The one that at this moment has for you most value, more power .Take time to recall it
Where was it? Who was there with you? What happened .?
And when you can recall the situation in its fullness .Enter it .How did it feel when you went beyond the conflict .? What was the atmosphere .? What quality emerged ?
..Be there, in that place, that moment .allow this particular quality, this special atmosphere to descend on you .breathe it in allow your body to receive it in its fullness Take time to savor it .. Let all the good sounds, smells, colors, sensations of this situation descend on you .
And when you feel the experience has reached its peak .put your hand on the part of your body where it resonates the most Where you feel it most vibrating
.Anchor that experience in that place of your body Keep your hand there Take some time to receive in that place all what is healing and transformative about this experience opening up to receive this precious resource .Enjoy the feeling of it .
Keeping your hand on your body Now step further back into the past, back to your childhood home Standing again there, in front of the child-you, in the situation of conflict between its parents Feel your hand, resting on that place in your body Feel that you are holding in it something precious, a gift of healing that you have brought back with you For the child And look at the child
Gently take your gift in your hand Move your hand away from the place where it is resting on your body Bringing your hand forward, palm up .offering your gift to the child reaching out .And when you feel the child is ready to receive, make your offer .Telling the child what you are offering: I bring you ..
And now take a deep breath becoming the child change body posture and reach out with your hand feel that in the palm of your hand descends the gift that the adult has brought for you .As you take that gift, bring it to the place in your body that needs it the most .
Feel what happens inside your child's body when this new quality enters you Allow yourself to be radiated by the good colors, smells and sounds of this quality breathe them in ..
Turn your attention towards the adult-you, standing there ..allow yourself to see this adult in its most powerful, compassionate and loving expression .you can feel that this adult is able to create spaces in life where the healing energy of the gift that you just received can flow into you ..
Coming back to your adult body now Experiencing the new connection with the child Notice what has changed in the child's attitude Does it change its place now? Does it have another expression on its face ?
.
And, turning your attention back to the parents of this child, you might notice that with the change in the child something may, or may not, have changed for them too .Whichever way, realize that the child is not responsible for the transformation of their conflict, and that the purpose of your gift, and of this journey, is only to bring healing and transformation to the child, so that it can move its own way, beyond conflict, into its own future
And, with the impression of this meeting, the richness of the experience you just had, move again on the path that will lead you forward in time .through schooltime .adolescence .adulthood .coming back now .
And ask yourself:
What do I need to do, to include more the quality that I just experienced, in my adult relationships?
How would my life be if I brought that particular quality in ?
What is the teaching that I take back to my present life?
How can it help me to go beyond conflicts? Find a few words to answer these questions.
And now feel your body in the room sitting here
Slowly stretch out .make contact with your surrounding the sounds the physical sensations .. the new day the new experiences that are waiting for you in the world outside this room ..Open your eyes
Allow yourself the time to integrate this healing experience You might want to lie down, or take a walk in nature, or listen to some music that you like .
Feel the blessing of this new day, and enjoy the rest of it
MEDITATION ON SOUL PURPOSE
Bring your awareness to your breathing.
With the rise and fall of your breathing. Be aware of the feeling of the air as you breathe in and out.
On your outbreath you can start seeing a number 5. You see it as a white number 5 on a black background, or a black number 5 on a white background.
You can imagine that you pain this number 5 with your finger, or that you hear the sound of number 5 inside yourself. Or you van do all three. Seeing, painting, hearing.
Now the number 4. See it, paint it, hear it, or do all three.
Then do the same with the numbers 3, 2 and 1
When you notice the number 1, imagine that it becomes a door.
Before you walk through this door, imagine you have a crystal ball. This ball has the capacity to absorb what you do not need in the moment. Imagine that you are putting your worries and difficulties of this moment into the crystal ball. Put the ball filled with all your worries away, knowing that this door is leading to a scared space, where you do not need to carry your worries. If you want, you can take your worries and difficulties back when you return.
Now walk through the door. See the steps ahead of you, leading up to another door. Gather all your disbelieves and mistrust together. Put them into another crystal ball. Before you walk through this next door, you can put this crystal ball, filled with your disbelieves and mistrust, away. You do not need to carry them with you into the sacred space that lies beyond. And, if you want, you can recollect them upon your return.
Now walk up the three steps, and open the door. Take a moment time to observe this sight: ahead of you there is a beautiful waiting place, with from it stairs leading up to the sky. Begin to see a being representing your inner guide coming down the stairs. It is a being of light, surrounded in gentle white light, that, as it comes closer, you can experience as very warm and friendly, transmitting to you the friendliness of existence. Like a hollow bamboo this person, this being, is allowing the friendliness to reach to you. Feel yourself touched by this quality radiating from this being. Be embraced by it, bathe in it. This being might appear to you in the form of a familiar or unfamiliar person, or as a presence, or as a quality. If you feel like, you can ask this being if it carries a name. And listen
Notice that this being is reaching out to you. You can feel the moment you make contact, and the warmth, light and friendliness enters your body and soul.
Notice that this being carries to you an invitation. It is the invitation of you inner divine, magical child. This child invites you for a meeting.
Let yourself be taken by the hand, and begin going up the stairs.
As you arrive at the top, you see a vast beautiful view. In the middle of it stands a large temple. Your guide is leading you towards the entrance
You slowly walk inside. Notice the exquisite beauty of the interior of the temple. Its objects, colors, the melody or music that lingers in the air, the feeling of comfort and welcoming. Allow yourself to be surprised.
Slowly walk towards a beautiful and comfortable seat on which you can notice your divine, sacred inner child.
See its beauty and preciousness. Its godliness, divinity. The child of existence.
Come closer, embrace the child. Feel it in your arms.
Now you can prepare yourself to ask this child a question: What is my soul purpose, why am I here,, what am I searching for in this life? What is my destiny?
And listen to the response .
Take the response in whatever way it comes: in words, in a gesture, a touch, through the eyes of the child, or maybe it comes as a strong feeling, a knowing, an intuition, or a feeling in the heart, or as a symbol
If you feel like, you can talk to the divine child about it, what it means for you .
Even if you do not understand, take with you what you've been given. Thank your divine child and walk back towards the exit. Your inner guide is waiting for you. Let your guide take you down the stairs
When you reach the waiting place again, rest a moment. You are now going to look at your whole life again, from conception to now, in the light of your new understanding. Even if your divine child's message was not clear, look at your life again with what you understand about your soul purpose, your search in life. Noe go back to the moment of your birth. Just as if you can see yourself being born. From birth onwards look again at the major important events that happened to you in your life, seeing it in the light of your new knowing. See the people who were there. Do you see them any different now?
You may see someone whom you thought was unimportant as much more important now ..Certain events may have a different meaning now. Can you find a new meaning in the painful events that happened to you? Come to the present moment of your life. Accept your whole life as perfect from your heart's point of view. Experience the friendliness of existence, that guides you on your way. Enjoy the purpose, the search of your life
Send love to all you know, and to all you don't know, understanding that we all are children moving towards light. See the wounded child inside your parents. See warm golden sunlight surrounding everyone. Imagine yourself touching and embracing the people in your life
See and feel everyone as a child looking for sharing friendship and love. We are all children of the universe.
Now return to the waiting place with its stairs leading to the temple. Turn around, facing the door. Open the door and walk down the three steps.
Notice the crystal ball you have left there. You can take back any disbelieves or mistrust that you want
Walk through the next door, notice the first crystal ball. This time you can take back any worries and difficulties that you want
And return .Take three deep breaths.
Feel life coming back into your feet and toes as you see the number 1
Then feel the ground you're on, the clothes on your body, as you see the number 2 .
Then feel the energy in your hands, let it come up through your arms into your neck and shoulders. Now see the number 3
Feel yourself wide awake and alert. Breathe in deeply. Tell yourself that you will remember this experience. That you will stay with the images also if you don't understand them fully yet. Now see the number 4
And feel yourself fully awake as you see the number 5.
Remember a time as an adult that you feel comfortable recalling, when you felt caring and loving. Perhaps a time when you were caring for a friend, for a plant, or an animal.
Imagine that you can see this time, and the gentle expression of caring it brings, as a picture in front of your eyes at a distance of about three feet.
Allow your forehead to relax, and draw the energy of loving and caring into the place between your eyes. Experience it as an infinite source of loving energy flowing to this place, and from there, flooding through your whole body.
Allow this energy to flow from the adult-you toward the child-you. To reach all the places inside the child where it got wounded, to bring love and care there.
CONNECTING WITH YOUR NAME
Just close your eyes for a moment. Start connecting with your own name. Repeat your name. Be aware of what comes up each time you say your name. Consciously listen to the running commentary that accompanies the sound of your own name: this commentary holds total power over you as long as it operates from an unconscious place inside you. Turn up the volume, recognize where the different tones of voice are coming from, what they want from you, what messages lie underneath. Write down some of the things you have experienced.